YOUTH VOICES • COMMUNION

BLURRING LINES AND BEING FRIENDS

The community of Sant’Egidio has rapidly become an icon of love and solidarity for the underprivileged in 70 countries where they are currently present. Their members are characterised by a mutual bond of unity as they meet to serve the poor whom they regard as their friends. One of the recent events organized by Sant’Egidio in Pretoria, was Christmas Lunch, where more than 400 meals were offered to the homeless.

BY JILL WILLIAMS | CANDIDATE LANDSCAPE ARCHITECT, PRETORIA

FRIENDSHIPS ARE like salt; enhancing one’s experiences on the journey of faith and strengthening the weary traveler during times of need. As one grows older, friendships tend to take on different forms from those of one’s youth. Growing up, I had always heard my family speak of having gatherings called the “Biduur” (Prayer hour, in Afrikaans language) which occurred whenever something significant happened in someone’s life, such as a birthday or a death in the family. Later, I learnt that these gatherings were times of prayer, singing, Bible study and sharing of words of encouragement. In the community my parents grew up in, in Gqeberha (Port Elizabeth), people facing illnesses or times of despair would also call on the church community to host such sessions. One of the beautiful aspects of these get-togethers is the deep sense of love and unity one feels there. “Where two or more are gathered in my name, there I am with you” (Matthew 18:20). This communal display of friendship and comradery is a beautiful way of saying: “I might not know or understand what you are facing, but I am here to support you and point you in the direction of the One who can lead you through it.”

The Community of Sant’Egidio

Being part of such communities, sodalities or other groups whose aim is to show love in one form or another, is a great way in which to experience a filial bond and be part of a greater community of love. The community of Sant’Egidio is an example of such a Christian community, founded in 1968 at a secondary school in Rome by Andrea Riccardi. It is comprised of many members from various backgrounds in the 70 countries to which it has spread. It focuses on the “periphery and peripheral people” (Community of Sant’Egidio 2023) with prayer, the poor and peace being its main areas of attention. The poor and all those who are considered to be marginalised, are seen as friends, brothers and sisters of the Community. This is in line with Jesus’s invitation to us all, when he said “you are my friends if you do what I command you” (John 15:14).

As was the case in the beginning of the life of the Community, Sant’Egidio members from various ages and backgrounds founded the School of Peace in South Africa. Before COVID-19, every Saturday, in areas in and around Gauteng such as Lotus, Mamelodi, Plastic View and Majakaneng, informal education was being offered to the old and young in the community, working through educational worksheets and partaking in activities such as making music instruments out of waste. Food would then be cooked and distributed to them as well as the homeless in the community. The children participating in this programme were also part of the Community of Sant’Egidio. In addition, food distribution to the homeless— pre-ceded by prayer and Bible Study—also takes place on a weekly basis in the areas of Sunnyside and Silverton.

“The first gesture of proximity is the beginning of friendship… a lack of emotional ties and at times a tough past, make it difficult for these people to even imagine a different future. If you are alone it is almost impossible. It is easier when you have the company and the support of someone with and for whom to do it. The loyal and friendly proximity to those living on the street is an invaluable opportunity for redemption: it makes it possible to find with imagination and creativity the solution to build together a more human life for everyone.” (Community of Sant’Egidio 2023)

“In this friendship with the poorest, it becomes unclear who helps and who is being helped.” (Pope Francis)

The Community promotes the outlook of being friends to the homeless. There is a degree of vulnerability that needs to be reached in order to achieve this—a humbling of one’s self to admitting that we cannot do things alone—that we need help. This opening up of oneself and the immediate response of love and tenderness, with a firm hope and belief that God will bring about a better outcome, is like finding a firm place to stand in the midst of very troubling waters. Pope Francis, during his visit to the Community on the 15th of June 2014, stated: “In this friendship with the poorest, it becomes unclear who helps and who is being helped. Who leads the action? Both of them, or to say it better, the embrace leads” (Community of Sant’Egidio 2023).

Christmas lunch

For many years, the Community of Sant‘Egidio in Pretoria has been helping make Christmas a little more special for the homeless. Their efforts have been focused mainly on the Sunnyside suburb, but have spread to Centurion and Silverton areas over the years, with at least 400 people being reached at the 2023 Christmas Lunch. The group is made up of many young people from all over the country and continent of Africa, who work together with much laughter and joy, in the hope of spreading the gospel of Joy to the people they meet during the food distributions.

Beginning with many weeks of preparation and marketing, the team collects donations and funds in order to make the annual Christmas Lunch happen. Later, volunteers cook and finally hand out the food to the guests either as a sit-down meal or as packaged meals handed out to the friends in need at their places of dwelling. One such volunteer, Patricia, joined the services of the community of Sant’Egidio in SA in 2008 and has never looked back. She remembers her first time assisting with the Christmas lunch, which was hosted at the Shelter for boys in Sunnyside that year. Two years later the Christmas lunch for the homeless was held at St Martin de Porres in Sunnyside. She sees this Community as a beacon of light in the midst of the political and social climate of SA, which may leave many, feeling despondent and helpless. She believes that this Community helps her serve others, a calling she has felt from a young age. When working with the homeless, one’s perspective begins to change and one begins to re-attach humanity to the human. The homeless, too have fears of the unknown, hopes and dreams for the future and very real challenges every day. By sitting down for a meal together, this Community helps its members to see and demonstrate to the world that they are no longer strangers who avoid each other, but are instead new and old friends listening to one another in common fellowship.

Christy, like Patricia, believes that the Community helps her experience and share love that goes beyond nationality and race. Having gone through her own share of struggles, she believes Sant’Egidio gives her a reason to remain hopeful. She volunteered briefly before the pandemic, but became more involved after 2020, as a friend advised her that this would help fulfil her life-long desire to help others. “Humanity is each other,” she says. “Ubuntu and equality should be a way of life. I pause to listen, even if it doesn’t make sense. Pausing, in order to reflect and to understand better, I begin understanding who they are and how to make a difference.”

Encounters of friendship beyond social barriers

Blurring the lines between “us” and “them” is crucial in this encounter. In the life of Jesus, we see this happening in multiple instances. At the well, in Samaria, Jesus blurs the political and cultural lines between Jews and Samaritans in order to reach out to the woman at the well (John 4:1-42). As Jesus passed through Jericho, in Luke 19:1-10, he ignores the crowds and societal rules and standards that dictated who he should be associated with, in order to dine with Zacchaeus, the tax collector. Another beautiful example of friendship is the wiping of Jesus’ face as he walked the road to Golgotha, the Via Dolorosa. Veronica’s offering of a clean cloth to wipe the blood and sweat off Jesus’ face is traditionally believed to have been rewarded with the image of Jesus’ face. This was a sign of a deeply sincere and intimate friendship. Her heart yearned to offer Jesus some comfort and relief in the midst of his tumult. Guided by the Holy Spirit, she considered what she had to offer. Her sign of friendship would be the sacrifice, the gift she would offer the Messiah. It was risky, as the impatient, duty-driven soldiers and blood-thirsty religious officials were eager to get Jesus to Golgotha. Yet it was worth the knowledge that she could show Jesus her love for him.

In our journey of faith, we are called to be faithful witnesses, offering friendship to everyone, those close to us and those whom we do not know.

One of the crucial aspects of the friendships we witness in the Bible is that good friends are depicted as faithful witnesses of one’s life who are able to offer a fresh perspective on one’s life. Developing a spirit of friendship and kinship in one’s spiritual and religious life is necessary for broadening one’s perspectives and enhancing one’s ability to navigate life. Taking time to listen to and share with others opens up the door to such activity. Faithful friends act as sounding boards for the various experiences we have in life. Bearing good witness means speaking the truth (whether pleasing to the ear or not) in a spirit of love and understanding, as opposed to bearing false witness, where lies are told (in most cases to benefit the liar) with the intent of manipulating situations and outcomes for personal gain. False witnesses only bring destruction to family and community, as everything shared with them is killed, stolen and destroyed. This is not the goal in our walk of faith and should be avoided at all costs. By harming others, one harms also oneself.

In our journey of faith, we are called to be faithful witnesses, offering friendship to everyone, those close to us and those whom we do not know, expressing filial love not only for those we can benefit from, but to every person we encounter. As a result, we may experience life in its fullness—being faithful witnesses and offering every person a taste of the love of Christ: flavourful and much desired.