Domestic Violence
The shattered glass represents the broken lives and dreams caused by domestic violence. abuses in families are absolutely contrary to God’s plan of mutual care and fraternity for humanity. domestic violence, inflicted especially upon women and children, is a horrendous scourge. To eradicate it we need to foster the education on values of love, equality, respect and dialogue, in society. The alleviation of poverty, protection of the vulnerable and law enforcement will give the victims the courage to speak out and unveil this atrocious crime.
YOUTH VOICES • ABUSE AND LOVE
Image: Gerd Altmann, Pixabay
Love That Eradicates Abuse
BY TUMI PARE | YOUTH LEADER, PRETORIA
A CHILD sits in the corner, trembling at the atrocity of her father beating her mother. She steps in on the rescue, but the slash of sound meets her halfway, and she staggers backwards. Scarlet spreads across her cheek—her father used the hand on her again. She screams! She turns to school, hoping to see a better picture of the world; however, right there in front of her eyes, boys laugh at a small but frail child, calling him useless and good for nothing. Spoken words only, yet invisible spears fly directly to his heart. His emotional state shatters into pieces. There is a word for this: abuse. However, naming it does little, the question still arises within me, ever more fervently: why, I ask, again and again, is this the reality?
Why do abusers abuse? If we all follow Christ’s instruction to love our neighbour as we love ourselves, there need not be a reason to answer this question. For how can one ever say that to abuse and exploit one physically and emotionally is an act of love? If we do, we should evaluate our understanding of love carefully. Since the predators fail to follow this—I dare say—simple instruction, it either means that they do not love themselves since they cannot seem to love others; or that their sense of pride has taken over since they see others solely as objects for exploitation.
The former seems to be true: the abuse is only a decoy to the real problem. If you cast your eyes away from the abuse, you will see the brokenness within the abusers. From the stories of abusers, we notice that they are no less human than us. Chaitanya Pankhania, a psychologist, states that abusers have low self-esteem; that “for someone who doesn’t feel very strong, to feel powerful they need someone or something to control”. Their insecurity and their desire for power enslave them. Unable to love themselves, their inability to love is unsurprising. They are constantly looking for a way to uplift themselves; however, their anger towards themselves is reflected, unfortunately, upon another.
“If you cast your eyes away from the abuse,you will see the brokenness within the abusers.
The floodgates of hope burst open at this realisation. If humanity works together as a universal family, caring and loving every single member, this love will reach the predators, and they too will see that they are loved. We could uplift their self-worth, which will, in turn, send their abuse to oblivion. In this, there is hope.
But still! This is the ideal, and this is the solution, but it is not the reality, and might not be the reality for, maybe, a long time to come. For, over thousands of years, we have failed to free ourselves from the shackles of sin. By His great mercy, Christ died for us on the Cross; He paved the way for our salvation. However, humanity is still broken, sin still exists. If we still fail to make a better reality, how do we live in such a despicable world lurking with sin?
With this, I can only find reassurance. For, one may mourn, one may be persecuted, but ultimately “theirs is the kingdom of heaven” and they shall be called blessed—and for this the only answer I have is patience.
Nevertheless, we should not opt out of the fight. We should not lose hope. If we join together as children of God, loving each other just how God loves us: we will create a better reality. This is the reality we should strive for. We should eradicate abuse. We should eradicate sin—and we should create a better reality.