YOUTH VOICES
Growing Womanhood
BY Mathudi Ralekhetho | University of Pretoria student and Youth Leader
AS A young girl, I sometimes questioned what it meant to be a woman. I used to be quite the tomboy. I never really enjoyed wearing dresses, I did not like the colour pink, and I was not the neatest person around—the complete opposite of my older sisters!
My Mom would sometimes joke around with my aunt saying, “Hey look, I gave birth to a little boy!” I found it a little hilarious and I would just go along with those jokes. However, after a while, it started to bother me because I struggled to understand why they do not consider me as a girl. “Am I too ugly to be considered a girl? Am I not beautiful like my sisters? Is that why most people would notice my sister and never me? Is it because I don’t really like all the things that people associate with girls?”
Questions like these came into my mind and it started annoying me very much. I dealt with many self-esteem issues; so having these kinds of questions flying around in my head did not really help the situation. I needed to find out what it meant to be a girl—the journey began!
What it meant to be a woman at that stage in my life was that I had to be a girly girl who liked to look pretty, act like an angel, wear skirts, grow their hair long and neat, and not mess around in the mud. I was none of those, thus it led to me thinking that I should consider changing myself. That was when I started looking out into the world and noticed that not every single young woman I saw looked like a girly girl, yet people found them very pretty. Phew, I did not have to update my wardrobe! Womanhood meant more than how you looked; it was about how you carried yourself. I looked at my mother, aunts, older sisters and even a few women from the neighborhood, school and church as examples. They were not perfect and that was fine, since nobody is, and it was marvelous hearing about and seeing how they would rise up after they had fallen.
A woman is respectful towards others and respects herself. She would not put down others to pull herself up. She is strong—able to stand up for her values and beliefs, embracing her femininity, her fears, as well as her tears. A woman is caring—showing kindness to all, because you never know what may be going on in their lives. She is beautiful, inside and out and would not base her worth, or that of others, on physical looks, but rather on what is in the mind and the heart. A woman is true to herself—not changing to satisfy others—and accepts that God created her unique. She has the power to unite people; using her soothing voice to speak up and call out to everyone, in order to join hands and make peace. A woman has a big heart filled with so much love, being humble towards others and helping them out if they are in need.
Whether it is for a hug, tasty treats, a warm shoulder, a funny joke, helpful advice, a ‘tough-love’ session, a good crying session, a long ‘rant’ session, a listening session, a cheer-up session or even a ‘me-time’ session, a woman is there to offer it. I am now proud to be a woman and I look forward to seeing how I grow.