YOUTH VOICES • MISSION AND LOVE

Where It All Began

Sharing the same passion for the youth, their journey of faith led them to a greater love for God and to a sincere commitment to minister to young people. They recounted their experience

BY Xavier & Nicole Mateman | Volunteer missionaries, Johannesburg

His story

I recall waking up early to make sure I got to shower in hot water. I recall queuing in line for toast and scrambled eggs complemented with weak juice and strong coffee. I also remember the mischievous nights and sleep-heavy eyes. Youth camps are burnt into my memory. The twenty-year-old youth leaders, speaking from a heart on fire and moving to the rhythm of their words, moving my heart into action and lighting the first inspiration in my life to be a part of something life-giving, full of love and spirit.

I was thirteen years old and ready to become a leader—or so I thought. My mother thought I was too young and that I had to go home after the camp. I was not deterred, I committed to the youth for four years following that camp. It led me to many more camps, friendships, sleepless dorm nights (and toast!). I went to World Youth Day in Australia when I was seventeen and returned enlightened in a way a seventeen-year-old can be: I discovered a love for our faith that was uniquely my own.

I also realised that my calling to serve young people had always been present (Xavier)

I had not realised it then, but I was inspired to work with young people in more ways than one, professionally, through coaching rowing, and in my faith through a youth group. I joined the youth group only because I saw Nicole the week before leading them at a Holy Thursday prayer evening in the garden prepared for the Eucharist. I unashamedly admit that I was there not only for a girl, but the youth leader. Bringing my baby brother to the youth group was my cover-story, but I confessed to her a few months later that it was mostly to be closer to her. A few months is all it took to relight the old flame I had for the mission and passion of youth ministry. I also realised that my calling to serve young people had always been present and showed itself in my day job. I loved uncovering an athlete’s potential and would rediscover the love for sharing my faith with the same youth.

Her story

When I joined our parish youth group, I had just finished matric and entered university. I was a strong-willed person who sought to assist the youth leaders; leadership was one of my personality traits. At some point during my first year of being part of the youth, I was spiritually shaken in a way I would never have thought I could be. I was not a ‘staunch devout Catholic’, as one would put it, at the time of joining. However, my faith was shaken, leading to many questions and even doubt in the faith. This took place during a time when many young people I knew (including our youth leaders) started leaving the faith. It left me feeling vulnerable and lost to a point of depression and anxiety. I knew I needed to do something. Going through ups and downs and seeking answers everywhere (including outside the Church), I found myself delving more into our faith and learning more about it than ever before.

An opportunity arose to attend World Youth Day (WYD) 2011, Madrid, during my struggle of depression and anxiety, so I went with the hopes of finding more answers to questions I had. To be honest, a lot happened and I learnt on the trip, but the true answers I was seeking were left unanswered. A few weeks after we returned, I just decided to let go and let God. My love for God and our faith grew immensely and it made me want to return to the youth with a perspective of trying to help other youth see the beauty of our faith the way I had come to see it in the midst of my depression and anxiety and questions I still had.

In 2013, when Xavier joined the youth with his younger brother, I saw someone who had the gift of wisdom and courage to lead people, especially young people. We eventually asked if he would assist and join our leadership team. Our friendship grew and (of course) a love for one another. What we enjoyed the most was being able to lead a youth group with the same vision and mission. Soon, we encountered a solidarity missionary group, whom we were familiar with, called Couples for Christ, Youth for Christ (CFC, YFC).

I could never have imagined the impact our love for God and one another would have on those around us and those who were to cross our paths (Nicole)

Little did I know I would have a spiritual awakening and my questions would be answered through a youth camp we hosted for the first time through CFC, YFC. I found myself totally surrendering to God. The encounter helped remove the doubts and fears I had and also answered the questions that I had been struggling with. From that point on, we grew from strength to strength as youth leaders, although having many ups and downs. We attended and ran youth conferences both in CFC, YFC, on deanery level and in the Archdiocese as well as participating in various youth-run activities with other youth groups.

Our relationship grew and became clearer; it was based around God and prayer throughout. When Xavier proposed, it was a scary time for me because my love for God had also grown immensely and I had to discern which path I was called to follow during our year of engagement. Eventually after making my decision to marry him in 2017, I could never have imagined the impact our love for God and one another would have on those around us and those who were to cross our paths. We continued making ourselves available for youth, but over time, the message which we relayed to the youth transitioned from being about youth and dating and courtship, to what it truly means to be married.

Our story

While talking about marriage we realised that our individual histories leading up to tying the knot had become a powerful testimony. Every time we spoke to a group, they would leave with a different message of hope. This happened especially during a Tuesday evening discussion called Love Matters, as part of a retreat at Bosco Youth Centre.

we participated in and ran was one which stood out most for us. Being married and gaining many new responsibilities, made it tougher carrying out mission work when compared to before marriage. This conference was even tougher as we were expecting our first-born, so I could not be as active as I wanted to be although Xavier could. Xavier was the programme director, but also carried out one of the talks that allowed him to open himself to the youth, making it a bit more of a personal experience. I even broke down during his talk because of how vulnerable he was.

That evening we had a powerful yet unexpected experience with all the youth at the conference who allowed themselves to be vulnerable; letting their pain be known to God through prayer. All I could remember is my heart aching for our youth—many of whom had experienced great pain—and yet as leaders and missionaries there is only so much we can do, but allow God’s healing grace to take place in their hearts and lives.

Every time we spoke to a group, they would leave with a different message of hope (Nicole & Xavier)

In the time of the pandemic today, it has been quite hard being able to carry out our mission as a family. It is a scary time as we can see so many of our youth struggling with navigating life. Social media makes it so much more complicated. All we can do for now is to remain in prayer for all of them and hope that when we have reached the end of this pandemic or in the ‘new normal’, God’s grace continues to guide us. May God’s amazing grace bring healing and bring them closer to Him.